Wednesday, August 29, 2012

ये क्या हो रहा है????

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Sardarjee Jokes

Sugar Test
Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Apple in a Mango Tree
Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked: "Too uper kyon aaya?" Sardar: "Apple Khane" Monkey: "Yeh to mango tree"
Sardar: "Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon"

Sardars and scooter
Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand. One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space.

Lion and Sardars
Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "

Bank manager asks Sardar in an intervi ew: "What is cyclone"
Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Side Effects
Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why? He wanted to avoid side effects!

Same person
Sardar looked himself in a mirror and said: "Isko kahin dekha hai... Haan! Yaad aaya, yeh to wahi kameena hai jo mere shaadi ke album mein mere biwi ke saath hai"

Bus tickets
Bus conductor: Ticket, ticket
Sardar: Give two tickets
Conductor: Why two?
Sardar: If I lose one, another will be there
Conductor: What if you lose both?
Sardar: No problem, I have pass...

A famous Sardar's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my life. And I will advise the same to my children too"

Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Sardar: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it!!

Starting Salary
MD: I give you driver job. Starting salary is 2000 Rs.
Sardar: Oh, thank you. What is the driving salary and stopping salary?

New moon day
ISRO sent a Sardar to Moon. Sardar got into rocket, but jumped halfway, shouting "How dare you cheat me. Today is new moon day. There will be no moon"

Boss: Ek achcha mirror leke ao, jisme m ujhe mera chehra dikhayi de.
Sardar: Boss, mein sab dukaan gaya , par sab mein mere hi chehra dikha... Apka chehra dikhanewala kahin nahi mila.

Hindi and English
Sardarni to a doctor: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya
Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Sardarni: My londa gironda from Hero Honda

Sardar reported for his university final examination, which consists of Yes/No type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.
Sardar replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

Microsoft Office
Interviewer: Do you know Microsoft Office?
Sardar: No, but I can find it if you give address...

Compound Sentence
Teacher: Tell a compound sentence.
Sardar: Stick No Bills!

Colour TV
Sardar bought a new colour TV and put it in water. Why?
He wanted to check whether colour goes or not!!

A person went to a Sardar's shop.
Person: I want 2007 calender
Sardar: Sorry sir, you are too late. We have only 1000 calenders left

Sardar bought a lottery ticket for 10 Rs. Luckily Sardar won 10 crores for that. He went to the shop to collect the prize money. The owner cut the tax and gave him 7 crores.
Sardar: Give me full 10 crores or give my 10 Rs. back

Sardar went to an interview.
Interviewer: Imagine that you are in the fifteenth floor. Suddenly fire bursts out, and there are many people who are struggling to survive. In that situation, what do you do ?
Sardar: Oye! I will stop imagining

Sardar was drawing money from ATM.
A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
Sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Sun v/s Moon
Sardar's theory: The moon is more important than the sun, because the moon gives light at night when it is needed, but the sun gives light during day when it is available abundantly...

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. Why?
The report said, "DELIVERED".

Regards, have a beautiful week. A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.
~Richard Bach

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Stress Buster Sardar !!!! Enjoy!!!!!!


 Boss: Where were you born?
 Sardar: India ...
 Boss: which part?
 Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
 Sardar declares:
 I will never marry in my life &. . .
I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. .
 A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
 Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
 He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka
 de raha hai'.
 Santa went to Mysore palace.
 Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
 Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes..!!..
 Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
 He wanted to save money so what did he do?
 Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..
 One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
 Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!
 Teacher: A for?
 Sardar: Apple
 Teacher: Jor se bolo?
 Sardar: Jay mata di.

 2 Sardars were fighting after exam.
 Sir: Y r u fighting?
 1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
 Sir: So what?
 1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both

 Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
 Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent
 my wife with him.

 Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
 says, "chal", it walks.
 He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
 He cuts all the legs and said, "chal......" Finally he wrote the
 conclusion....... ..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

 A Tamilian call up Sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
 Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

 2 Sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
 Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
 Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

 A Sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
 Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
 Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating........


A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati....
 Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
 Sardar : Liquid state.....
 Audience clapped... Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS......

2 Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
 Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
 explodes while fixing..
 Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

 Sardar: What is the name of your car?
 Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
 Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

 Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
 Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

 Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
 Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

 At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
 Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head.. Is he crying?

 Sardar: U cheated me.
 Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
 Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '


 Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
 Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
 Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
 Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

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